1/26/15
We're talking about Babywise today, so I thought I show you a picture of Anna. Isn't that SO SWEET?!? I can't stop smiling as I look at it. Is this a picture of a malnourished, neglected baby? No honking way. Let's begin. A couple of you asked me to post about how we do Babywise in our house. I thought I might as well since I love it and maybe someone will find it helpful. Since Babywise catches a lot of flack (mostly from people who have not read the book), I think we should clear the air on a few things.- Babywise does not = leaving hungry babies screaming in their cribs.
- Babywise does not = starving your baby for the sake of the schedule
- Babywise does not = never cuddling your baby
- Babywise does not = being a slave to a schedule.
- Babywise does not = letting your babies cry for hours on end with all their needs being unmet.
Got it? 
There's another one. Now that we’ve got THAT out of the way, I’ll give you a basic overview of how I implement it in our house. This will be good especially if I die suddenly and Ben is left to try and figure out what’s going on with Anna. (He’s not really in the loop as far as our schedule goes) I’m going to focus specifically on little babies and schedules etc. although they give TONS of other advice. (maybe I’ll do another blog post of my FAVORITE book Babywise II) OK now we can really begin. Actually wait, one more thing. I’m not an expert, I’m just taking what I’ve learned from friends and the book and what’s worked for us. I’m sure there are tons of better Babywise people to ask than me.
NOW I’m ready. When do you start Babywise? I try to start it as soon as we get home from the hospital. In the hospital, I usually just get used to nursing and wait for my milk to come in. I don’t worry about any sort of feeding times during the hospital stay. Plus, the baby is so honking sleepy anyway, you hardly even feed them. (unless they want to cluster feed all night like Grace did and almost kill you. That was horrible.) A lactation consultant will come in and instruct you to keep your child at the breast every moment until they’re 3 (ok, slight exaggeration). Feel free to ignore their advice on WHEN to feed; however, they are extremely helpful on HOW to feed. When I had Caleb my lactation consultant freaked out that I had a Babywise book on the bedside-- I think she thought it should be illegal to own. She was, however, really helpful in getting Caleb to latch. You also may have a young male intern come in with your discharge papers telling you to put cabbage leaves in your bra because they’re soothing.... (It was VERY hard to be mature in that situation. I mean, really..)
Ok, let’s pretend you just got home from the hospital. The next few days you’re going to be working HARD. You are going to be trying to get that baby to eat FULL feedings each time you nurse. And that’s really hard because they are sooo sleepy. You want to avoid having a baby who snacks all day long. And, you want to avoid feeding them every hour, or every time they cry. I have a secret. Babies sometimes cry when they’re NOT hungry. (even if everyone is telling you your baby is hungry.) If you have an overly sleepy baby, you’ll be waking them every 3 hours to eat. I’m not sure Anna would have ever woken up to eat the first few weeks.... (just kidding) but I did have to be constantly waking her up to feed during the day. “Never wake a sleeping baby!” you say. I say nay. That’s an unhelpful word of advice. I’ll give you a new one. “Always wake a sleeping baby if it’s time to wake up.” Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? So, let’s say you have a super hungry baby who wakes up every 1.5 hours to eat. You want to really work hard to get full feedings so that they can make it to 2.5-3 hours. Occasionally 2 hours in a row doesn’t hurt (like later in the afternoon when your supply could be lower). A Babywise lesson is ALWAYS feed a hungry baby. If your baby is hungry at 1.5 hours, FEED THEM. The point is to get them to NOT be hungry after 1.5 hours. Get it? Snackers only get the fore milk and not the rich, juicy hind milk, so work it!! Now, let me also mention that you do NOT wake your baby during the night. So, let’s say you feed Johnny boy at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, and 10pm-- after the 10pm feeding you would just let them go (unless they’re super little and sleeping forever, and you’re worried about them and/or your milk supply--usually not a problemo).
Another big Babywise concept is the Eat/Wake/Sleep cycle. You feed your baby, have awake time, which could be time under a mobile, in a pack n play, bouncy seat, you reading them a book, taking a bath, a walk... whatever. And, you put them asleep when they are still awake-- or drowsy. You want them to be able to fall asleep on their own so you're not bound by nursing them, rocking them, putting them in the crib, having them immediately wake up, nurse them again, rock them 4 times, bounce your leg 6 times, pat their back, sing Rock a bye baby 3 times through, lay them in bed, and start all over again until you're both completely exhausted and your baby is FINALLY asleep.... only to wake up a half hour later where you repeat the same cycle up to 5 times (or so). OR, having your baby having to sleep on/with you. That's great sometimes (I have enjoyed my snuggles with Anna)-- but it's not very practical if you have other little ones you have to keep up with. Or a house to clean. Or if you have to go to the bathroom. Or make dinner.
Here’s a day in the life of a young baby in my house. We’ll say under 9 weeks old. Okie dokie? 7am- eat 7-8- eat and wake time 8am- nap 10- eat 10-11 eat and wake time 11- nap 1- eat 1-2 eat and wake time 2- nap 4- eat 4-5 eat and wake time 5- nap 7- eat and possible wake time depends on how tired 7:30- sleep 10ish- sort of wake up to feed... or dream feed if they’ll do that and then put them straight back to bed. And then usually they’ll be up once or so at night. (unless they’re really new, then maybe a couple of times). When I feed them at night, I put them right back to bed for sleep. Babywise says your baby should sleep through the night between 8-12 weeks. When I say sleep through the night I mean 8+ hours consistently (I'm not sure what they mean.) Caleb was 12 weeks, Grace 5 weeks, and Anna is 10 weeks and just started sleeping 8-10 hours a night. Babywise tells you to have a daily wake time and make it the same EVERY day. They also encourage you to feed at the SAME time every day. While I think that is probably helpful, I don’t really do that. We have generally the same schedule every day, but it’s more that I keep the amount of times between feedings more consistent (2.5-3 hrs)-- and I keep the pattern Eat/wake/sleep.
It is MAJORLY important that your child gets naps during the day. If you look at the above schedule and say, “WOW, that baby sleeps ALL THE TIME” you’re right! Babies DO sleep all the time. When your baby has been up for hours during the day, you might have people say to you, “Great! Now they’ll hopefully sleep all night because they’re all tired out.” Usually if my child’s been up for an unreasonable amount of time I’m freaking out that they’ll have a HORRIBLE night’s sleep because now they’re overtired and wired. Sleep breeds more sleep. Repeat that. This was a huge lesson for me to learn. Babies who are overtired do not settle to sleep well, nap well, or sleep through the night well. Ok, there are always exceptions-- it might happen once, but it can’t continually happen. Remember when I said sometimes babies cry when they’re not hungry? This is what I’m referring to-- sometimes babies cry when they’re TIRED. A little baby should only be up for 45 min to an hour before it’s nap time again. If your baby has a hard time getting to sleep after being up for an hour (including feeding time), then you should try putting them to bed EARLIER rather than later. In our house putting them to bed when they’re really little (like I still do this with Anna and she’s 10 weeks) is hold them tight for a few minutes to kind of warn them it’s nap time, and then put them to bed awake. I am not against CIO (cry it out)-- I triple dog dare you to google that or post about it on Babycenter. HAHAHA. But seriously, I think there’s a time for CIO. I feel comfortable letting them cry when I know their basic needs are met-- I know they’re changed and not hungry. The only thing they are is tired. I promise that in my house sleep is usually nice and everyone isn’t always screaming. It’s actually quite pleasant. Like right now all three are sleeping and none of them cried before bed. Ok, I lied, Grace whined at me for about 20 seconds. Fussing a little before sleep is normal-- sometimes they just need to settle in! Naps are amazing for everyone.
Babywise is flexible-- not so flexible that the baby has no clue what's going on ever, but the kind of flexible that making it to church and other events is possible because you're not married to your schedule. Sundays I'm usually rearranging everything so that I can have a full and sleepy baby with me during the service. I don't want to miss church every week! Plus, what would I do with Caleb?! Mondays are a day to get back on track. Also being flexible means it's not a huge deal if your baby is a hungry a little early, or going through a growth spurt etc. you just work around it! To end I’ll say this. I think that implementing Babywise is a lot of work right away, but you reap such amazing benefits that it’s totally worth it. Plus, it’s nice not to be guessing what your baby needs when. There also is A LOT of problem solving/trouble shooting involved-- why is my baby waking up after 45 minutes EVERY nap? Why is she screaming in the late afternoon etc... This is why I e-mailed a friend of mine nearly every day after I had Caleb. =) I think that’s a pretty decent summary of what we do. The book is EXTREMELY helpful to answer lots of questions, so I highly recommend reading it. And, if you want to get started and are having trouble, you can ask me, join a Babywise facebook group, or google chronicles of a babywise mom to get extra help!
Oh, and I know that some people have babies who sleep through the night early and they don't do any scheduling etc. That's GREAT! I however, don't want to risk getting lucky. Plus, it's harder once you have an 8 month old who is still not sleeping through the night to start doing any sort of sleep training, so I'd rather get them used to it right away. And, if babywise isn't for you, that's ok too. Hope this was helpful in some way for those interested. Feel free to ask questions or comment if you have something to say!
-Melanie
There's another one. Now that we’ve got THAT out of the way, I’ll give you a basic overview of how I implement it in our house. This will be good especially if I die suddenly and Ben is left to try and figure out what’s going on with Anna. (He’s not really in the loop as far as our schedule goes) I’m going to focus specifically on little babies and schedules etc. although they give TONS of other advice. (maybe I’ll do another blog post of my FAVORITE book Babywise II) OK now we can really begin. Actually wait, one more thing. I’m not an expert, I’m just taking what I’ve learned from friends and the book and what’s worked for us. I’m sure there are tons of better Babywise people to ask than me.NOW I’m ready. When do you start Babywise? I try to start it as soon as we get home from the hospital. In the hospital, I usually just get used to nursing and wait for my milk to come in. I don’t worry about any sort of feeding times during the hospital stay. Plus, the baby is so honking sleepy anyway, you hardly even feed them. (unless they want to cluster feed all night like Grace did and almost kill you. That was horrible.) A lactation consultant will come in and instruct you to keep your child at the breast every moment until they’re 3 (ok, slight exaggeration). Feel free to ignore their advice on WHEN to feed; however, they are extremely helpful on HOW to feed. When I had Caleb my lactation consultant freaked out that I had a Babywise book on the bedside-- I think she thought it should be illegal to own. She was, however, really helpful in getting Caleb to latch. You also may have a young male intern come in with your discharge papers telling you to put cabbage leaves in your bra because they’re soothing.... (It was VERY hard to be mature in that situation. I mean, really..)
Ok, let’s pretend you just got home from the hospital. The next few days you’re going to be working HARD. You are going to be trying to get that baby to eat FULL feedings each time you nurse. And that’s really hard because they are sooo sleepy. You want to avoid having a baby who snacks all day long. And, you want to avoid feeding them every hour, or every time they cry. I have a secret. Babies sometimes cry when they’re NOT hungry. (even if everyone is telling you your baby is hungry.) If you have an overly sleepy baby, you’ll be waking them every 3 hours to eat. I’m not sure Anna would have ever woken up to eat the first few weeks.... (just kidding) but I did have to be constantly waking her up to feed during the day. “Never wake a sleeping baby!” you say. I say nay. That’s an unhelpful word of advice. I’ll give you a new one. “Always wake a sleeping baby if it’s time to wake up.” Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? So, let’s say you have a super hungry baby who wakes up every 1.5 hours to eat. You want to really work hard to get full feedings so that they can make it to 2.5-3 hours. Occasionally 2 hours in a row doesn’t hurt (like later in the afternoon when your supply could be lower). A Babywise lesson is ALWAYS feed a hungry baby. If your baby is hungry at 1.5 hours, FEED THEM. The point is to get them to NOT be hungry after 1.5 hours. Get it? Snackers only get the fore milk and not the rich, juicy hind milk, so work it!! Now, let me also mention that you do NOT wake your baby during the night. So, let’s say you feed Johnny boy at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm, and 10pm-- after the 10pm feeding you would just let them go (unless they’re super little and sleeping forever, and you’re worried about them and/or your milk supply--usually not a problemo).
Another big Babywise concept is the Eat/Wake/Sleep cycle. You feed your baby, have awake time, which could be time under a mobile, in a pack n play, bouncy seat, you reading them a book, taking a bath, a walk... whatever. And, you put them asleep when they are still awake-- or drowsy. You want them to be able to fall asleep on their own so you're not bound by nursing them, rocking them, putting them in the crib, having them immediately wake up, nurse them again, rock them 4 times, bounce your leg 6 times, pat their back, sing Rock a bye baby 3 times through, lay them in bed, and start all over again until you're both completely exhausted and your baby is FINALLY asleep.... only to wake up a half hour later where you repeat the same cycle up to 5 times (or so). OR, having your baby having to sleep on/with you. That's great sometimes (I have enjoyed my snuggles with Anna)-- but it's not very practical if you have other little ones you have to keep up with. Or a house to clean. Or if you have to go to the bathroom. Or make dinner.
Here’s a day in the life of a young baby in my house. We’ll say under 9 weeks old. Okie dokie? 7am- eat 7-8- eat and wake time 8am- nap 10- eat 10-11 eat and wake time 11- nap 1- eat 1-2 eat and wake time 2- nap 4- eat 4-5 eat and wake time 5- nap 7- eat and possible wake time depends on how tired 7:30- sleep 10ish- sort of wake up to feed... or dream feed if they’ll do that and then put them straight back to bed. And then usually they’ll be up once or so at night. (unless they’re really new, then maybe a couple of times). When I feed them at night, I put them right back to bed for sleep. Babywise says your baby should sleep through the night between 8-12 weeks. When I say sleep through the night I mean 8+ hours consistently (I'm not sure what they mean.) Caleb was 12 weeks, Grace 5 weeks, and Anna is 10 weeks and just started sleeping 8-10 hours a night. Babywise tells you to have a daily wake time and make it the same EVERY day. They also encourage you to feed at the SAME time every day. While I think that is probably helpful, I don’t really do that. We have generally the same schedule every day, but it’s more that I keep the amount of times between feedings more consistent (2.5-3 hrs)-- and I keep the pattern Eat/wake/sleep.
It is MAJORLY important that your child gets naps during the day. If you look at the above schedule and say, “WOW, that baby sleeps ALL THE TIME” you’re right! Babies DO sleep all the time. When your baby has been up for hours during the day, you might have people say to you, “Great! Now they’ll hopefully sleep all night because they’re all tired out.” Usually if my child’s been up for an unreasonable amount of time I’m freaking out that they’ll have a HORRIBLE night’s sleep because now they’re overtired and wired. Sleep breeds more sleep. Repeat that. This was a huge lesson for me to learn. Babies who are overtired do not settle to sleep well, nap well, or sleep through the night well. Ok, there are always exceptions-- it might happen once, but it can’t continually happen. Remember when I said sometimes babies cry when they’re not hungry? This is what I’m referring to-- sometimes babies cry when they’re TIRED. A little baby should only be up for 45 min to an hour before it’s nap time again. If your baby has a hard time getting to sleep after being up for an hour (including feeding time), then you should try putting them to bed EARLIER rather than later. In our house putting them to bed when they’re really little (like I still do this with Anna and she’s 10 weeks) is hold them tight for a few minutes to kind of warn them it’s nap time, and then put them to bed awake. I am not against CIO (cry it out)-- I triple dog dare you to google that or post about it on Babycenter. HAHAHA. But seriously, I think there’s a time for CIO. I feel comfortable letting them cry when I know their basic needs are met-- I know they’re changed and not hungry. The only thing they are is tired. I promise that in my house sleep is usually nice and everyone isn’t always screaming. It’s actually quite pleasant. Like right now all three are sleeping and none of them cried before bed. Ok, I lied, Grace whined at me for about 20 seconds. Fussing a little before sleep is normal-- sometimes they just need to settle in! Naps are amazing for everyone.
Babywise is flexible-- not so flexible that the baby has no clue what's going on ever, but the kind of flexible that making it to church and other events is possible because you're not married to your schedule. Sundays I'm usually rearranging everything so that I can have a full and sleepy baby with me during the service. I don't want to miss church every week! Plus, what would I do with Caleb?! Mondays are a day to get back on track. Also being flexible means it's not a huge deal if your baby is a hungry a little early, or going through a growth spurt etc. you just work around it! To end I’ll say this. I think that implementing Babywise is a lot of work right away, but you reap such amazing benefits that it’s totally worth it. Plus, it’s nice not to be guessing what your baby needs when. There also is A LOT of problem solving/trouble shooting involved-- why is my baby waking up after 45 minutes EVERY nap? Why is she screaming in the late afternoon etc... This is why I e-mailed a friend of mine nearly every day after I had Caleb. =) I think that’s a pretty decent summary of what we do. The book is EXTREMELY helpful to answer lots of questions, so I highly recommend reading it. And, if you want to get started and are having trouble, you can ask me, join a Babywise facebook group, or google chronicles of a babywise mom to get extra help!
Oh, and I know that some people have babies who sleep through the night early and they don't do any scheduling etc. That's GREAT! I however, don't want to risk getting lucky. Plus, it's harder once you have an 8 month old who is still not sleeping through the night to start doing any sort of sleep training, so I'd rather get them used to it right away. And, if babywise isn't for you, that's ok too. Hope this was helpful in some way for those interested. Feel free to ask questions or comment if you have something to say!
-Melanie
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